Sunday, July 11, 2010
Learning from mistakes
Recently I saw myself react to certain situations in quite a negative way. By negative I mean that I was very concerned with getting my way. When I ask an individual to do something specifically because I don't like it or that is not how I would do it I go against the principals of Buddhism.
It makes plain sense to do the right thing. Putting others before myself and listening are key. We as human beings do not have the right to demand that people act a certain way or do what we want. It's okay to help others but we must let them follow their own path.
Suffering increases for all involved when motives are self centered. ALWAYS ask yourself why you are saying something to another. Is it to help? Is it to educate or illuminate a subject? Or is it self centered, tearing down an individual or speaking without absolute certainty? Many times when we are hurt by someone we will tell anyone who will listen how the other person hurt us instead of focusing on ourselves. Trying to get a person to be on our side doesn't support right acting. "Do you know how that person hurt me?" is not a phrase that is the slightest bit helpful. Conveying how a person slighted me or "made" me feel isn't productive. It doesn't educate or help a person and it continues to perpetuate swimming in a sea of samsara. I must remain vigilant. What is my motivation in any situation.
No use punishing yourself though if you are practicing mindfulness. We all stumble. The trick is to remain grateful and aware of the present moment. We all strive for the same thing. By acting positive everyone benefits.